07/29/2007: "SGA Fic: Better than Bronze (McKay/Sheppard; PG-13)"

Title: Better than Bronze
Pairing: Sheppard/McKay
Rating: PG-13
Words: 1300ish
Summary: Sidhe(faerie)!Sheppard/Human Peasant McKay.
Warning: Total ridiculousness.

Rodney's tired of bronze. It's relatively easy to make, and he has a good relationship with the copper traders, but bronze is weak, soft. No matter how many times he tries to make it harder and more durable, it fails him.

"There must be something else," he mutters to himself.

"What?" Lorne asks, looking up from cooling another sword.

"I'm tired of bronze."

Lorne rolls his eyes. "How many times have I heard this? Bronze is fine. It's practical."

Rodney sighs, annoyed. "I'm going out. Looking for something else to blend with the copper."

"Good luck," Lorne says, and Rodney pretends he doesn't sound at all sarcastic.

*

Rodney walks. He walks out of the smith, away from the village, and down the path. He walks past fields, and through a stretch of forest, and just as he's about to leave the trees behind, to step into a wide field, he missteps, and wanders off the path.

And that's when Rodney notices him. It's a man, a stranger, his hair odd in some indefinable way, and his clothes soft and nothing like the leather and rough-woven cloth that Rodney is used to. The clothes are the deepest black he's ever seen, nothing that any of the dye-mistresses can make. He gets so caught up in thinking about making a blacker dye that he forgets he's staring. After a few moments he comes to his senses and looks up. He takes a real look, a close look, at the man's face, and he realises he's really screwed.

"Fuck," he says. "You're one of the sidhe."

"One of the what?" the man asks, and his voice is smooth and soft, and Rodney shudders and thinks about running away.

But his legs won't work. "The sidhe. The Lordly Ones? The so-called "Good People", although I don't know how you got that name, given how you seem to get a kick out of stealing innocent people away and keeping them as some kind of kinky love slaves -"

"Love slaves?" The sidhe looks vaguely amused.

"- in your palaces under the hills." Rodney stops and takes a deep breath, and thinks about making his legs move. He thinks hard. It doesn't work. He hates the sidhe. He really, really hates them. "Which I'm sure are very nice places for prisons," he adds, because he can't move.

"Huh. Well I guess I am one of these people," the sidhe says, moving away from the tree he'd been lounging against. "And you are?"

"A man who resents not being able to move his legs. Let me go."

The sidhe smiles. "I don't think so."

"Why not?"

The smiles widens. His teeth gleam in the greenish light. "I'm bored. And you look like you could prove amusing."

Rodney doesn't like the sidhe's tone when he says 'amusing'. "I'm not going to be your kinky love slave!" Even if the sidhe is very attractive. That's part of the danger of sidhe. Truthfully, Rodney had always imagined his sidhe with blonde hair and perky breasts, but this one is almost as enticing. Maybe it's the hair. Maybe it's just that Rodney wants the secret of making that rich black dye.

"You're obsessed with kinky sex, aren't you?"

Sidhe. Every story Rodney has ever heard makes them out to be both enticing and annoyingly superior-acting. It looks like those stories were true. He straightens his shoulders. "Thank you very much for your perverted assumptions, but you are wrong. So horribly wrong. I'm obsessed with many things, and right now my current obsession is trying to make a better alloy - you do know what that means right? Alloy? You don't just spend your days looking at your hair in some kind of ridiculous magic reflecting device, do you? Anyway, I'm trying to make a better alloy to make better swords, and you are distracting me from that."

The sidhe stares at him for a few moments, and then he laughs, sharp and somehow not quite human. "Yeah, I think I know what an alloy is. Mixing up molten metals or something, right?"

Rodney rolls his eyes and crosses his arms. "Yes. Bravo to you. Also, let me go."

"Don't think I will."

Rodney just glares.

"I think I want you to come to my home."

Oh, great. Fantastic. "No. No, no. A thousand times no. I'll get trapped there when you tempt me with some of your magic food. I won't be able to resist it because I have a healthy appetite. And then one day will pass down there and years will pass up here, and then you'll get sick of me and toss me out on my ear, and where will I be? Homeless. So, no."

The sidhe steps closer, hands hanging loosely by his sides. "Come on, Rodney. There are things I can show you."

Rodney looks dubiously at the sidhe, and wonders if he's about to be faced with nudity. Which, in the name of knowledge might be somewhat interesting, because no one seems to know if the sidhe looked exactly like humans. In all possible anatomical ways. But – "I never told you my name."

"You didn't have to."

This is just getting worse and worse. "Let me go."

The sidhe's smile is slightly creepy now, and slightly sexy. Rodney wants to look away, but he can't quite make himself.

"I already said no. You're coming with me." The sidhe turns and walks away, blending into the forest around him.

And suddenly, Rodney is walking again, but he's following the sidhe, unable to turn back to the path. "Hey! This is not fair!"

"You won't regret it, Rodney," the sidhe calls back.

Annoyingly, Rodney's legs start walking faster. "If you make me your kinky love-slave, you'll regret it!" He says it too loudly, just to make the point.

Ahead of him, the sidhe laughs.

The end

(Of course, the sidhe turns out to be Cuillen ("But you can call me John," the sidhe says. "Whatever," Rodney mutters, "show me something interesting."), a sidhe blacksmith, and he has quite a few things to show Rodney. There are alloys. And the fancy magical reflecting device (which Rodney admits is really quite amazing, and he's tempted to spend time looking at himself in it, so it's hard to get snippy with the sidhe about it). And there's good food in bowls that never seem to become empty. Maybe the sex is a little kinky, but Rodney's not complaining because it's really, really good. All in all, Rodney misses a few hundred years going past on the outside, but he doesn't really mind because it's not like he had any family anyway. He's learning all kinds of exciting things, and getting great sex (and free food) at the same time.

Oh, and the sidhe is pretty happy about the whole arrangement too, because Rodney never quite loses the snark and bitching, and it's a nice change to the formal and tight-assed sidhe that he has to live with - although Teyla and Ronon are good fun, even if they are off doing things like hunting in high mountains most of the time

Lorne, Rodney's sensible blacksmith friend (he also knows a great deal about making baskets, carpentry, and stone carving), misses Rodney. But then Rodney manages to send a message (Lorne - I'm trapped in one of the sidhe's hollow hills, and the sidhe that kidnapped me won't let me go, but it's kind of not bad, you should see the food here, and the magic! Also, the sidhe is really great in the sack. So, uh, have a good life, I guess. Rodney), and Lorne feels better knowing that at least Rodney's messing around with new and exciting things and not constantly harping on about the inadequacies of bronze).




	Home Archives July 2007 SGA Fic: Better than Bronze (McKay/Sheppard; PG-13) [Previous entry: "SGA Fic: Distracting (Lorne/Parrish; R)"] [Next entry: "SGA Fic: Eighteen Things Major Lorne (More or Less) Hates About the Pegasus Galaxy (Lorne/McKay; PG-13)"] 07/29/2007: "SGA Fic: Better than Bronze (McKay/Sheppard; PG-13)" Title: Better than Bronze Pairing: Sheppard/McKay Rating: PG-13 Words: 1300ish Summary: Sidhe(faerie)!Sheppard/Human Peasant McKay. Warning: Total ridiculousness. Rodney's tired of bronze. It's relatively easy to make, and he has a good relationship with the copper traders, but bronze is weak, soft. No matter how many times he tries to make it harder and more durable, it fails him. "There must be something else," he mutters to himself. "What?" Lorne asks, looking up from cooling another sword. "I'm tired of bronze." Lorne rolls his eyes. "How many times have I heard this? Bronze is fine. It's practical." Rodney sighs, annoyed. "I'm going out. Looking for something else to blend with the copper." "Good luck," Lorne says, and Rodney pretends he doesn't sound at all sarcastic. * Rodney walks. He walks out of the smith, away from the village, and down the path. He walks past fields, and through a stretch of forest, and just as he's about to leave the trees behind, to step into a wide field, he missteps, and wanders off the path. And that's when Rodney notices him. It's a man, a stranger, his hair odd in some indefinable way, and his clothes soft and nothing like the leather and rough-woven cloth that Rodney is used to. The clothes are the deepest black he's ever seen, nothing that any of the dye-mistresses can make. He gets so caught up in thinking about making a blacker dye that he forgets he's staring. After a few moments he comes to his senses and looks up. He takes a real look, a close look, at the man's face, and he realises he's really screwed. "Fuck," he says. "You're one of the sidhe." "One of the what?" the man asks, and his voice is smooth and soft, and Rodney shudders and thinks about running away. But his legs won't work. "The sidhe. The Lordly Ones? The so-called "Good People", although I don't know how you got that name, given how you seem to get a kick out of stealing innocent people away and keeping them as some kind of kinky love slaves -" "Love slaves?" The sidhe looks vaguely amused. "- in your palaces under the hills." Rodney stops and takes a deep breath, and thinks about making his legs move. He thinks hard. It doesn't work. He hates the sidhe. He really, really hates them. "Which I'm sure are very nice places for prisons," he adds, because he can't move. "Huh. Well I guess I am one of these people," the sidhe says, moving away from the tree he'd been lounging against. "And you are?" "A man who resents not being able to move his legs. Let me go." The sidhe smiles. "I don't think so." "Why not?" The smiles widens. His teeth gleam in the greenish light. "I'm bored. And you look like you could prove amusing." Rodney doesn't like the sidhe's tone when he says 'amusing'. "I'm not going to be your kinky love slave!" Even if the sidhe is very attractive. That's part of the danger of sidhe. Truthfully, Rodney had always imagined his sidhe with blonde hair and perky breasts, but this one is almost as enticing. Maybe it's the hair. Maybe it's just that Rodney wants the secret of making that rich black dye. "You're obsessed with kinky sex, aren't you?" Sidhe. Every story Rodney has ever heard makes them out to be both enticing and annoyingly superior-acting. It looks like those stories were true. He straightens his shoulders. "Thank you very much for your perverted assumptions, but you are wrong. So horribly wrong. I'm obsessed with many things, and right now my current obsession is trying to make a better alloy - you do know what that means right? Alloy? You don't just spend your days looking at your hair in some kind of ridiculous magic reflecting device, do you? Anyway, I'm trying to make a better alloy to make better swords, and you are distracting me from that." The sidhe stares at him for a few moments, and then he laughs, sharp and somehow not quite human. "Yeah, I think I know what an alloy is. Mixing up molten metals or something, right?" Rodney rolls his eyes and crosses his arms. "Yes. Bravo to you. Also, let me go." "Don't think I will." Rodney just glares. "I think I want you to come to my home." Oh, great. Fantastic. "No. No, no. A thousand times no. I'll get trapped there when you tempt me with some of your magic food. I won't be able to resist it because I have a healthy appetite. And then one day will pass down there and years will pass up here, and then you'll get sick of me and toss me out on my ear, and where will I be? Homeless. So, no." The sidhe steps closer, hands hanging loosely by his sides. "Come on, Rodney. There are things I can show you." Rodney looks dubiously at the sidhe, and wonders if he's about to be faced with nudity. Which, in the name of knowledge might be somewhat interesting, because no one seems to know if the sidhe looked exactly like humans. In all possible anatomical ways. But – "I never told you my name." "You didn't have to." This is just getting worse and worse. "Let me go." The sidhe's smile is slightly creepy now, and slightly sexy. Rodney wants to look away, but he can't quite make himself. "I already said no. You're coming with me." The sidhe turns and walks away, blending into the forest around him. And suddenly, Rodney is walking again, but he's following the sidhe, unable to turn back to the path. "Hey! This is not fair!" "You won't regret it, Rodney," the sidhe calls back. Annoyingly, Rodney's legs start walking faster. "If you make me your kinky love-slave, you'll regret it!" He says it too loudly, just to make the point. Ahead of him, the sidhe laughs. The end (Of course, the sidhe turns out to be Cuillen ("But you can call me John," the sidhe says. "Whatever," Rodney mutters, "show me something interesting."), a sidhe blacksmith, and he has quite a few things to show Rodney. There are alloys. And the fancy magical reflecting device (which Rodney admits is really quite amazing, and he's tempted to spend time looking at himself in it, so it's hard to get snippy with the sidhe about it). And there's good food in bowls that never seem to become empty. Maybe the sex is a little kinky, but Rodney's not complaining because it's really, really good. All in all, Rodney misses a few hundred years going past on the outside, but he doesn't really mind because it's not like he had any family anyway. He's learning all kinds of exciting things, and getting great sex (and free food) at the same time. Oh, and the sidhe is pretty happy about the whole arrangement too, because Rodney never quite loses the snark and bitching, and it's a nice change to the formal and tight-assed sidhe that he has to live with - although Teyla and Ronon are good fun, even if they are off doing things like hunting in high mountains most of the time Lorne, Rodney's sensible blacksmith friend (he also knows a great deal about making baskets, carpentry, and stone carving), misses Rodney. But then Rodney manages to send a message (Lorne - I'm trapped in one of the sidhe's hollow hills, and the sidhe that kidnapped me won't let me go, but it's kind of not bad, you should see the food here, and the magic! Also, the sidhe is really great in the sack. So, uh, have a good life, I guess. Rodney), and Lorne feels better knowing that at least Rodney's messing around with new and exciting things and not constantly harping on about the inadequacies of bronze).