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08/03/2007: "Firefly Fic: What Jayne Likes (Jayne/Simon, PG)"
Title: What Jayne Likes
Pairing: Simon/Jayne
Rating: PG
Summary: Jayne has preferences.
Notes: Pre-movie, post Objects in Space
Disclaimer: Clearly I claim no ownership to the Firefly 'verse or its characters; nor am I making money from this fic writing thing.
Jayne likes women. They're all curvy and soft, and usually they smell good - or at least they don't smell too bad. Not like some people Jayne could name. Sometimes they got shiny hair, and that usually smells good too. The mudder women not so much, but Jayne figured it would be stupid to hold it against 'em. Can't smell good when the whole planet stinks; can't have shiny hair when mud and dust're everywhere. 'Cept somehow Simon stayed shiny and clean there. He don't know how.
Women. They smell good. And they got soft parts that he's real fond of.
And their skin is soft too, not rough like Jayne's. It's like they take care of themselves in some kind of girly way. He's seen the cream that Kaylee's got (nothing fancy, but still it's in a little glass bottle), and he figures that's the key. He tried it once (she wasn't looking), and he didn't see the appeal. Seems rutting stupid to spend cash on cream for skin (unless it's got medicine in it), but Jayne doesn't argue with the results. Waste of time.
~~~
She's looking at him like maybe she wants something more'n Jayne will give her.
"I ain't no hero." But he's been drinking for hours now, and he's got that rutting song stuck in his head, and maybe, just maybe, he kind of is.
"No one ever gave us mudders anything. No one ever took something and gave it to us." She wraps herself a little bit more around him, and Jayne figures they've got to get to the nekkid part soon.
Yeah, maybe he is a hero. It was right generous of him not to come back and look for the loot. He could've waited a few days, and come crawling back in the dark. It ain't like he was really scared of the magistrate. But instead he let it lie so others could find it.
"It meant medicine and extra food." She's grinning at him now, all sexy, even if her skin does feel gritty from mud. Jayne ain't picky. She steps away a little, starts to pull off her shirt.
Jayne grins, starts unbuttoning his pants. Women throw themselves at heroes. And a real hero would give them what they want.
He's a gorram hero.
~~~
Jayne likes guns. Everyone knows. He knows that the crew all figure he just likes shooting things, and they're right. But he likes guns in his hand too. They're all smooth in the right spots, and they feel good when he's holding them. Knives are good too, but guns are better.
First time he held Vera it was like he'd met a real lady. A real lady of the killing kind. It's natural for a man to remember the first time he gets a gun like that. But Jayne don't discriminate. He remembers all his guns.
~~~
"How much?" Some people like to pussy-foot around something when they want it. Helps 'em to bargain, they figure. Jayne ain't into that kind of negotiating.
The seller shrugs, like he's never thought about it. Bull. When he names the price, Jayne nearly decks him. Violence is always prime negotiating style. Instead he pulls out a knife and cleans his fingernails while he pretends to think about it.
"Ain't worth it, not a piece of crap like that."
But she ain't crap. Vera's powerful, his very best gun, no doubt about it, but this one, this is different. Powerful and almost pretty.
"Three platinum." The seller is looking squirrelly now, like he really needs to make a sale. Looks like he's hungry.
Jayne grins, then throws the knife. It lands in the little man's shoulder. The man grunts and stumbles a little - less of a fuss than Jayne expected, really. No one else in the market pays any mind. It ain't like Jayne was aiming to really hurt the guy. The knife is hardly stuck in at all. "Two, plus I get sixty rounds of ammo."
The man nods quickly, so Jayne reaches over and pulls out the knife. Good deal.
Later, in his bunk, he holds her in his hand, and smiles almost. She's smallish, and sleek, but she can't fool him. A couple of shots would break a man in two. He thinks he'll call her Helen. Fond memories is all. It ain't sentimental.
~~~
A real merc likes drink. Jayne ain't an exception. Mudder's milk, illegal hooch, bar beer, hard spirits, he don't care. He likes it all. Maybe especially the mudder's milk. It's not so much the taste he likes - most drink tastes like rat's breath, although he guesses Inara gets to try better stuff. What he does like about is the warmth as it goes down his throat. It's a good way to relax after a day.
Other than that, he doesn't put too much thought into it.
~~~
The music in the bar is loud - and bad - but Jayne can make himself heard over it. "This round's on me!"
There's some vague cheering, but mostly it's so late that the crowd is passed out or almost there. Jayne don't buy rounds early in the night - too many drinkers. Now though, just a handful straggle up to the bar for a mug of the local brew.
It's been a good day. Mostly because after too rutting long, Jayne actually got paid. After the job, Mal put down for a couple of days - Kaylee was whining about shopping, Inara about business, Wash about bathtubs and Zoe. It's a holiday, and Jayne knows just the best way to celebrate.
Bars. Drinking. Maybe finding a few pretty women.
'Cept this moon seems to have a shortage of pretty women. Or women at all. Enough that Mal ends up making Jayne go around with Kaylee as she shopped. Women buying women things and pretties and cooing all day long is enough to drive any man to drink. Even if it is little Kaylee. Even if he did have some real fun sending glares and threats at anyone who even gave Kaylee a smile.
And 'specially since he ended up having to carry all her crap back to the ship. Girl can shop like no one he's ever seen.
Jayne downs his drink, signals for another. Looks around hopefully, thinking maybe the women here just don't come out until night.
Nothing. He finishes the drink. Another is waiting before he can even ask. "Good man!" he says, reaching out and whacking the bartender in the shoulder.
The buzz of the bar lowers suddenly, and he turns around. All the others are staring at the door, and Jayne cranes his neck to see. Something shiny. He sits straighter. Women?
But no. It's Simon, vest all shiny, and face all shined up from sweat, like he's been running. Gorram it. But it's kinda nice to see a face he knows. So he yells, "Doc! Get your ass over here! Drink's on me!"
Simon weaves his way past people, tables, and broken chairs (the fight earlier in the night had been real stimulating, but over too soon). Jayne's shoving a mug into his hand even before he's reached the bar. "Drink up! Might do you some good."
Simon frowns at the drink, and then at Jayne. He leans close, and he smells kind of good. Jayne is about to say so, when Simon opens his mouth and starts yammering.
"We have a problem. Mal got into some kind of argument with Inara's client, and we're not certain where he is. Zoe's gone to try and figure out what happened, and she told me to come and bring you back to Serenity. And also, she told me to tell you, and I quote, 'Grab your weapons.'"
Well, all right. That is just what he needs. Nothing like a fight or some crime caper after a night of drinking, 'specially if no women are around. He's wired up all ready. Slamming his own mug down on the counter, he takes Simon's from his hand, downs the drink, and stands up.
"Then let's go." He grabs Simon's arm and drags him out of the bar, barely remembering to pay the bill as he goes.
Great night.
~~~
It's simple. Women, guns, drink. Not necessarily in that order on any given day. Food's good too, but if he's got mudder's milk, then he can do without food for a space. Anyone can, if they put their minds to it.
Jayne doesn't think about it. He just understands that's what he likes.
What he don't really understand is why he likes Simon. There's no rightly way that he should. Stupid fugitive, irritating sister. Simon lords it over all of 'em, and Jayne can't help it. He just wants to punch that rich-boy jaw. He wants to push Simon against walls as they walk past each other. He wants to play tricks that Kaylee would call mean, but that Jayne figures are just fun.
Jayne wants to do all of those things to the doc, play with his head and rough him up a bit. That makes sense. But then he wants other things, things he figures he shouldn't want.
It's not like he's got something against a little fun with men, but that's always opportunity only. When there ain't some pretty women around, or if there's been a lot of killing and he needs to think about something else. Jayne's never thought about men's smell (except in the 'Gorram it, you need a bath, piss-pot' kind of way). He's never thought of a night of drinking with some other man leading to some bunk fun.
But one day as he shoved by Simon, he leaned close and caught a decent smell, same as that night at the bar. Clean, and not doctorly (he'd figured Simon would smell like the inside of a hospital), just - nice. Not like flowers, the way some women smell. Just decent.
There's something about it.
~~~
"What?" Simon looks annoyed, but that ain't new. The man is always annoyed, and it can't always be Jayne's fault.
Can it? Anyway, even if it is, who cares? "Nothin'."
"Is there any particular reason you're lurking around my infirmary?"
Ain't his infirmary. Ship belongs to Mal. Rutting hoity-toity core worlders. "Nope."
Simon sighs, and turns back to the stuff he's arranging all neat and tidy like.
"What's that?"
"Emergency supplies. I like to have things so I know exactly where they are. For when I don't have time to think about it."
Yeah, Jayne knows about that. "I got my guns like that in my bunk. So I can grab 'em fast if there's intruders."
"I see." There's a little pause, and Jayne can tell Simon ain't done. "It seems to have been rather successful when Jubal Early got on the ship."
Rutting bounty hunter. They'd all ribbed him for weeks about not wakin' up. Mal had been pissed. Worst was looking at little Kaylee, her still all shaky.
"That weren't my fault! Anyways, not like I could have gotten out of my bunk, him locking them all down."
Simon looks up, his face blank. "Not even with Vera?"
Jayne scowls. What does he know about Vera anyway?
Simon's facing away again, and Jayne ain't sure what he's supposed to do now. Why's he even here? He stalks over to look at the supplies Simon's fussing with. Boring.
But. He takes a deep breath. Yep. Simon smells good. Wasn't just once or twice.
"Uh, Jayne? Could you not loom over me like something with its prey?" There's a little pause, and then Jayne can see the blush starting. Up the neck. Pink, hot looking. Prey is maybe a good word. But he backs away for now.
"You smell good."
"Um." Simon doesn't turn around. Heh. This is what it takes to shut the man up.
"I gotta go." He starts to walk out, but turns as he reaches the door. Simon is watching him, still a little red, mostly looking annoyed. Again.
This is going to be fun.
Jayne knows what he likes. And when he wants something, he goes and gets it. Even if maybe he plays a little first.
End
