08/08/2007: "Firefly Fic: Helpful Life Hints (Jayne/Simon, PG)"

Title: Helpful Life Hints
For: joeyrz
Words: About 800
Prompts: sophisticated, clothes, decadent, teasing
Disclaimer: Clearly I claim no ownership to the Firefly 'verse or its characters; nor am I making money from this fic writing thing.

"Sophistication," Simon's mother tells him, "is the way to win a woman's heart." She looks over his clothing, assessing. "You can be rich and powerful, Simon, and that's enough for loyalty. Any woman will appreciate your social standing." She smiles. "But if you want her to truly care for you, you must woo her. In a sophisticated and convincing manner. Starting with your clothes. It's all about first impressions."

Simon nods, not quite meeting her eyes. He's not quite sure how to tell her that right now, he's rather certain that women are not what he wants.

At least, not right away.

*

"Trying to be so gorram sophisticated out here ain't gonna get you nowhere," Jayne mutters, dragging Simon to the infirmary. "And them fancy clothes just make you an easy target, gets you shot at."

"Thank you so much for the helpful life hints," Simon replies, clenching his teeth. The bullet grazed his leg, but he's bleeding more than he'd like, even with the tourniquet.

"Don't need thanks. Just don't wanna have to drag yer ass around all the ruttin' time."

Simon wonders why Jayne is bothering.

"Mal'd kill me if I left you there, but don't mean I like you," he continues, sitting Simon up against the examining table. "Just so you know."

*

"A little decadence can go a long way," his mother says, grinning. It's the first time Simon's seen any thing resembling liveliness in her for weeks. They think they hide it, but Simon knows when his parents are fighting.

"Chocolate, for example," she continues. "The good kind. Not the garbage you can find down in the market. The kind that comes from Londinium, that's what will impress her."

Simon wonders when she last got chocolates from his father. "Is that what you want for your birthday?" he asks, teasing her slightly, winking.

She laughs, bright and surprised.

*

"What the ruttin' hell is this?" Jayne asks at dinner, his face screwed up tight. "Some kind of trick?"

Everyone else is just digging in, but Jayne looks at it like maybe it's poison. "It's chocolate," Simon says. "Or a reasonable approximation of." It's a little waxy, but the taste isn't wholly artificial. "I bought it in the town." He frowns. "Well, more precisely, I gave some money to Kaylee to buy it in town." A little indulgence, he thought. Something deserved, for all of them.

"You got money to spend on this?"

A little. Hardly enough for anything, but sometimes..."I just thought –"

Jayne is scowling openly now, watching his piece of chocolate like maybe it might attack him. "You remember the last gorram time someone brought chocolate to this table? Remember?"

Simon remembers. They all do.

"Jayne. It's just chocolate. It isn't bad luck." Wash would probably be laughing as he said it, but he's clearly too busy enjoying the chocolate. "And if you don't want it, can I have it?"

A knife is planted in the chocolate faster than anyone anticipates. "Back off, little man."

Simon smiles to himself.

Later, Jayne nods at him in a personable way, and says, "You got any more money? 'Cause I could take care of it for you. If you don't trust them who's on this boat."

Simon just shakes his head in wonder.

*

"Manners, of course, are absolutely necessarily." His mother smiles at him, indulgent and proud. "You've never had a problem with that, though."

"You taught me well. Although," Simon laughs, "River could have paid more attention."

"She is a little wild, isn't she?" But his mother is still smiling.

*

"You are such a – a—" Simon can't quite think of the right word. He's completely at a loss.

"Quit yer bitchin'," Jayne responds. "I seen the way you look at me. So I'm askin', 'cause right now, I ain't got nothin' to do."

"What?" Simon laughs, a little hysterical, a little disbelieving. "For the next 10 minutes? Is that what you're about to say?"

Jayne just snorts. "Hell, no. That your idea of a good rut? Ten minutes? Figured you fancy types went for longer than that."

Oh, it just gets better. "Jayne, do you even think before you talk? Ever?"

"I ain't so interested in the talking part of this."

Of course he isn't.

*

"Oh, Simon," his mother says. "You'll make any woman happy, I know you will."

"Thank you." His smile feels slightly forced, because there's a conversation that they need to have, and one that he worries he'll never quite find a way to start.

"Just remember. Sophistication and style. A little decadence when it's warranted, and manners. The rest you grow into. And it grows into you." Her hand on his cheek is warm, familiar. "Whoever she ends up being, she'll be quite a prize. I know it."

*

"I think that's an award-winning proposition, Jayne. Top marks for everything; very smooth, very enticing, very hard to resist."

Jayne just smirks at him. "Kinda like that time you bought me chocolate?"

For the love of – "I bought that for everyone."

"Everyone. Including me."

"You aren't going to take no for an answer, are you?" Simon can't quite keep his lips from twitching, almost smiling.

"You want me to?"

Not really. No.

End.




	Home Archives August 2007 Firefly Fic: Helpful Life Hints (Jayne/Simon, PG) [Previous entry: "Firefly Fic: Unnatural (but not unexpected) Attachment (Jayne/Simon, PG)"] [Next entry: "Firefly Fic: Interval (Jayne/Simon, PG)"] 08/08/2007: "Firefly Fic: Helpful Life Hints (Jayne/Simon, PG)" Title: Helpful Life Hints For: joeyrz Words: About 800 Prompts: sophisticated, clothes, decadent, teasing Disclaimer: Clearly I claim no ownership to the Firefly 'verse or its characters; nor am I making money from this fic writing thing. "Sophistication," Simon's mother tells him, "is the way to win a woman's heart." She looks over his clothing, assessing. "You can be rich and powerful, Simon, and that's enough for loyalty. Any woman will appreciate your social standing." She smiles. "But if you want her to truly care for you, you must woo her. In a sophisticated and convincing manner. Starting with your clothes. It's all about first impressions." Simon nods, not quite meeting her eyes. He's not quite sure how to tell her that right now, he's rather certain that women are not what he wants. At least, not right away. * "Trying to be so gorram sophisticated out here ain't gonna get you nowhere," Jayne mutters, dragging Simon to the infirmary. "And them fancy clothes just make you an easy target, gets you shot at." "Thank you so much for the helpful life hints," Simon replies, clenching his teeth. The bullet grazed his leg, but he's bleeding more than he'd like, even with the tourniquet. "Don't need thanks. Just don't wanna have to drag yer ass around all the ruttin' time." Simon wonders why Jayne is bothering. "Mal'd kill me if I left you there, but don't mean I like you," he continues, sitting Simon up against the examining table. "Just so you know." * "A little decadence can go a long way," his mother says, grinning. It's the first time Simon's seen any thing resembling liveliness in her for weeks. They think they hide it, but Simon knows when his parents are fighting. "Chocolate, for example," she continues. "The good kind. Not the garbage you can find down in the market. The kind that comes from Londinium, that's what will impress her." Simon wonders when she last got chocolates from his father. "Is that what you want for your birthday?" he asks, teasing her slightly, winking. She laughs, bright and surprised. * "What the ruttin' hell is this?" Jayne asks at dinner, his face screwed up tight. "Some kind of trick?" Everyone else is just digging in, but Jayne looks at it like maybe it's poison. "It's chocolate," Simon says. "Or a reasonable approximation of." It's a little waxy, but the taste isn't wholly artificial. "I bought it in the town." He frowns. "Well, more precisely, I gave some money to Kaylee to buy it in town." A little indulgence, he thought. Something deserved, for all of them. "You got money to spend on this?" A little. Hardly enough for anything, but sometimes..."I just thought –" Jayne is scowling openly now, watching his piece of chocolate like maybe it might attack him. "You remember the last gorram time someone brought chocolate to this table? Remember?" Simon remembers. They all do. "Jayne. It's just chocolate. It isn't bad luck." Wash would probably be laughing as he said it, but he's clearly too busy enjoying the chocolate. "And if you don't want it, can I have it?" A knife is planted in the chocolate faster than anyone anticipates. "Back off, little man." Simon smiles to himself. Later, Jayne nods at him in a personable way, and says, "You got any more money? 'Cause I could take care of it for you. If you don't trust them who's on this boat." Simon just shakes his head in wonder. * "Manners, of course, are absolutely necessarily." His mother smiles at him, indulgent and proud. "You've never had a problem with that, though." "You taught me well. Although," Simon laughs, "River could have paid more attention." "She is a little wild, isn't she?" But his mother is still smiling. * "You are such a – a—" Simon can't quite think of the right word. He's completely at a loss. "Quit yer bitchin'," Jayne responds. "I seen the way you look at me. So I'm askin', 'cause right now, I ain't got nothin' to do." "What?" Simon laughs, a little hysterical, a little disbelieving. "For the next 10 minutes? Is that what you're about to say?" Jayne just snorts. "Hell, no. That your idea of a good rut? Ten minutes? Figured you fancy types went for longer than that." Oh, it just gets better. "Jayne, do you even think before you talk? Ever?" "I ain't so interested in the talking part of this." Of course he isn't. * "Oh, Simon," his mother says. "You'll make any woman happy, I know you will." "Thank you." His smile feels slightly forced, because there's a conversation that they need to have, and one that he worries he'll never quite find a way to start. "Just remember. Sophistication and style. A little decadence when it's warranted, and manners. The rest you grow into. And it grows into you." Her hand on his cheek is warm, familiar. "Whoever she ends up being, she'll be quite a prize. I know it." * "I think that's an award-winning proposition, Jayne. Top marks for everything; very smooth, very enticing, very hard to resist." Jayne just smirks at him. "Kinda like that time you bought me chocolate?" For the love of – "I bought that for everyone." "Everyone. Including me." "You aren't going to take no for an answer, are you?" Simon can't quite keep his lips from twitching, almost smiling. "You want me to?" Not really. No. End.